Am I really such a loser that my “friends” are embarrassed to publicly show that they’re friends with me? 

seriously. this isn’t the first fucking time this has happened. It’s starting to piss me the hell off. like what the fuck.

first there’s one of my “friends” last year (and this is one of the reasons im not friends with them anymore) who repeatedly said to me “oh yeah, we’ll have so much fun at my sweet 16 together! it’ll be so great!” and proceeded to not invite me, but invite a ton of other mutual friends of ours. she didn’t even bother making excuses as to why, she just acted like she had never said anything to me about it.

then there are all of the people who will talk to me in private and ask for help with 10000000 things, but won’t even say “hi” back to me in the hallways and just glare at me when I wave to them.

and now there’s the girl who is perfectly fine being friends with me over the summer when we’re not in school and talking pretty much daily, getting help from me on the APUS summer assignment (where I pretty much did her whole god damned section because she couldn’t figure it out), getting help from me on math and science, and still talking at least once every few days just about social stuff. who I’ve just found out is having a party for her birthday and I was pretty much the only “friend” of hers that wasn’t invited. 

seriously. what the fuck is wrong with me that so many god damned people seem to have issues with me. why the fuck does everyone hate me THAT much. how bad to I have to be that people won’t even be straightforward with me. you can’t fucking just be honest with me? if you don’t wanna fucking be friends with me then just fucking say so, god dammit. just stop being such fucking scumbags and backstabbers. seriously. why can’t I just have a few REAL friends instead of all the fucking, overly bitchy, trussed up, selfish, self-promoting, overly competitive, pretenders that will do pretty much anything to get my help when they need it and then do a full 180 when anyone else is around. 

fuck this shit

girl who I know: “I can probably drink more alcohol than any guy here.”

me: “and I can beat you in a pissing for distance contest. anything else you wanna compete in that doesn’t matter?”

lol XD

I actually did well on my SAT2s haha. I knew I did well on math2 but I was expecting to tank physics or at least do not well. but I wasn’t expecting dual 800s haha =)

sigh, so sad

saw a convo between one of my friends (a girl) and someone else (i guess some guy she knows) on facebook. not gonna use their names

guy: “at least you have options for prom. I had to essentially beg.”

girl: “wha? who wouldn’t want to go to prom with you? you’re the nicest guy ever! any girl would be lucky to go with you!”

guy: “last time I checked, you said no when I asked you to prom.”

i should really be used to seeing shit like this go down now. such hypocrisy. I’m starting to like sean’s theory. “Everyone is superficial, that much is true. But girls are FAR more superficial than guys at every level. Guys will have more realistic standards for themselves and be willing to be with a wide variety of girls. Meanwhile, every single girl wants the alpha male. They ALL think that they should have the guy of the highest caliber. Then you get all these girls who claim to like nice guys and criticize the other girls as shallow, and then they go and pull the same shit but say it’s okay for them because they’re better than those “shallow” girls in some way. That because they’re better, they deserve a better guy, so it’s okay for them to pull the same crap they criticize other girls for. And at least guys are straightforward about it for the most part. We won’t sit around saying we want fat girls if we want skinny ones. We’re not hypocritical like the girls who claim they just want the nice guy and don’t care much about looks. You know those girls who, when they describe what they like in a guy, will essentially describe all of their friends who they would never date.”